At this hour, I should be sleeping or reading my Legal Ethics book. Yet I spent most of the time playing Temple Run on my iPod and thinking of my blurry love.

Technically, I broke up with you a month ago. So does this mean I should be the one to do the initiative of having you back again? I have this rule that I should see you again first before we get back together. But that might happen too long from now. As I see it, no one would dare initiate.

I won’t deny the fact that I love you. Everyday, I still do. One day I think that I have moved on already, but the next day I will realize that you are still the same old love in my heart. This has become more confusing than ever. I hate this I-love-you-but-I-can’t-be-with-you feeling. The thing I hate more is that I don’t know what’s running through your mind. Do you still love me? Do you still care? Am I still that one girl in your heart? Do you want to see me?

I know life has so much in store for us. I just don’t know if life wants us to part ways or get back together.

Friends say I should never overcompensate. Some say this is outright foolishness already that I ought to stop. But I know you give me happiness; so I won’t let go.

I don’t like the feeling of us being OK tonight, then the following day, your shadow is nowhere to be found. I can’t demand and complain because we aren’t together anymore, but honestly this set-up gets me too tired and exhausted. But as I said, I won’t let go because you bring me happiness.

More happiness than pain. I would just wake up one day realizing all the pain, and for the next hour I’ll be fine with you again.

This is just something that affects everything. My law classmate told me, “If the timing isn’t right, do not push through with it. Better days for you two are yet to come. You just have to wait.” It pays to be patient; yes, I know. I need to learn how to wait. But I want an assurance from you if this waiting we are going through is all worth it.